100 Gentle Self-Compassion Affirmations to Be Kind to Yourself

Learn how to practice self-love and kindness with these 100 self-compassion affirmations to be nicer to yourself.

Let’s be real. Self-compassion can be challenging.

We are our own worst critic. It can be tough to not judge, shame, criticize, or critique ourselves. Most often, we are way harder on ourselves than we ever would be on other people.

While having high standards for yourself can be a good thing, constantly holding yourself to an unrealistic standard of perfection will take a toll on your mental health.

This is where self-compassion comes in – and it’s essential.

What is Self-Compassion?

Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion lays the foundation for this essential concept in psychology.

She notes that “having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others”. Compassion for others may come more naturally to us. We can utilize that familiar experience when implementing self-compassion into our lives.

Neff lays out 3 main elements of self-compassion to help guide our journey toward self-kindness and acceptance.

3 Main Elements of Self-Compassion by Dr. Neff

1. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

When we mess up, fail, feel pain, or otherwise struggle in life, approaching from a place of understanding and compassion is key.

Rather than judging, shaming, or criticizing yourself, making a conscious effort to give yourself grace is the first step to self-compassion.

You are human. Life doesn’t always go according to plan.

Placing pressure or being unreasonably hard on yourself only makes things worse through stress, frustration, shame, and self-criticism.

Instead, approaching with understanding, love, and compassion brings peace and lessens distress.

2. Common Humanity vs. Isolation

This principle recognizes that imperfection, mistakes, and suffering are all part of a collective shared human experience.

Without self-compassion, we may experience thoughts of “I am the only one”. This perpetuates further shame and self-judgment.

Instead, with a self-compassion approach, we can recognize imperfect is a part of being human that we all experience. (Yes, every single one of us.)

This allows you to offer yourself understanding and practice kindness rather than feeling isolated in your imperfection.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification

Dr. Kristin Neff explains this one best when she writes:

“Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them.

We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.

At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.” (SelfCompassion.org)

How to Begin Practicing Self-Compassion?

For many of us, our default when we mess up or experience something going wrong is to shame, blame, and judge ourselves.

This can be a tough cycle to break.

How do we shift from self-judgment and shame to self-compassion and self-kindness?

Here are a few tips for integrating self-compassion into your own life:

• Recognize the cycle – Identify when you are speaking to yourself with shame or judgment. Bring awareness to the inner-dialogue habits you’d like to break.
• Get curious – When your first instinct is to meet yourself with judgment, get curious about other approaches. How could you handle this situation more gently?
• Speak to yourself like you would a friend – This is one of the most effective tools for reworking inner dialogue. If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, why are you saying it to yourself?
• Do guided self-compassion exercises – Dr. Kristin Neff has free guided exercises on her website as well as in her book on self-compassion.
• Practice self-compassion affirmations – Self-compassion is rooted in how we speak to ourselves, which is why positive affirmations for self-compassion are such a powerful tool! It’s time to rework those automatic thought responses.

3 Tips for Self-Compassion Affirmations

1. Practice Makes Progress

Like anything in life, developing self-compassion will take practice. These self-compassion affirmations are a tool to help you get there.

Think of your self-compassion as a muscle you have to build and these self-compassion affirmations are the weights you lift.

Repeat these affirmations as much as possible. Through repetition, practice, and continued action, you can retrain your brain to a more kind and compassionate place for yourself.

2. Speak, Write, and Believe

There are many different ways to use possible affirmations. I recommend speaking these self-compassion affirmations out loud to yourself or writing them down in a notebook or a journal.

You can also add positive affirmation cards to really level up your practice.

This is the key to truly believing the words in your affirmations.

Reciting affirmations can feel silly or forced at first. This is part of the retraining of the mind.

Keep at it. Continue reinforcing these positive, kind, compassionate words. Trust this process.

3. Give Yourself Grace

Give yourself some grace when your self-compassion doesn’t show up like you’d want it to.

In other words, practice self-compassion when you fail to practice self-compassion.

You are not going to go from self-doubt, shame, or judgment to self-compassion and self-kindness overnight. As much as we’d like for it to be quick, simple, and easy, this process takes time.

Don’t judge yourself for it – simply notice the areas in life where you default back to self-deprecation or shame. These are the spaces where there is lots of room for growth and improvement.

Don’t let that discourage you, let it encourage you! There’s room to grow.